Archive for the ‘1. JGrace Musings’ Category

Poem – Jorge

December 24, 2008

That’s Jorge

Humility
is when someone older
can bend their knees easier than you
and washes your floors with love;

is when he then says,
“You always care for me.”
But he brings presents for my parents
without ever having met them.

and he says, “Put a card inside,
in English, and say, ‘From Jorge.
Although I don’t know you,
I know you through your daughter.”

“I hope your father will like the little sculpture,
although they are dead people,
playing piano and the corpse singing.”

And the nativity scene.
“Is your mother Catholic?” he asked.
No, but she thinks of God on Christmas,”
I said, hoping it was true.
“So this nativity scene, she’ll like it.”

And inside was a Joseph and a Mary, and a little baby.
And behind, with the smallest of wings,
in the background.
A little angel.
That’s Jorge.

by JGrace

What is a NARCISSIST?

December 4, 2008

What is a NARCISSIST?

It is a person who murders other people
One insult at a time.
Who enjoys their God given superiority.

It is a stage mother who pushes her child
Not to enjoy or celebrate their successes,
but to triumph, win and ridicule the dumb ones.

They never feel loved, or love.
A narcissist
Sees only the prey, the strike and the kill.

They see life in black and white.
Their toys are rascist, elitism, misogeny, classism,
they are on Top

And the more starved, disordered or deprived
others are
The more comfortable the Narcissist is.

They do charity to remind themselves
How disadvanged and needy
The regular common people are.

They become teachers, advisors and therapists
Not to help teach or guide,
But so their students and clients will look up to them.

They masquerade as human beings
But they have sold their souls for applause
and become inhuman.

Not aware that others are beings
they may become presidents who commit genocide
on whole populations who are ignorant, powerless, defenseless.

Like any good narcissist who sees how they can profit
From standing on anothers heart of life.
Snuff. Extinguish. Then laugh at them.

The thrill of their secret contrived ascendancy
Is that other people don’t exist for them,
only as audience or victims.

How do you know when you meet one?
They seem bigger than life, so charming, capable, wise
You feel suddenly smaller,

your stories about yourself
seem boring in comparison,
Your achievements and happiness shrink.

They may even tell you you talk too much
After the honeymoon is over,
And you might never feel confident enough to talk freely again.

They have an aura, a presence, a confidence
You meet them and say WOW! Others meet them and say
I’ve never met anyone so (fill in your favorite compliment).

You are sure that you are blessed to share the same blood
With these lucky successful grand personalities
Maybe some of their panache, charisma, glory will rub off on you.

But scratch the surface. Dare to criticise them
and watch the claws, the fangs, the incisors unsheathe,
that clever subtle smirk that masquerades as a smile,

And wait for the payback. They will strike
Unobtrusively, say, when you have finally gotten a raise
And they say you deserve more. They rain on your parade

Raising the bar for you, to unreachable heights.
They may even remind you
That anyone can buy a diploma.

The narcissist will tell you its good to be able to laugh at oneself,
But they never do.
They laugh at other people

They call them, poor souls, poor bastards, losers,
Or if it is you,
they just glance at you with pity.

The narcissist is a world unto themselves, insulated beyond reach.
Their Heart is in a prison they closed, when young,
When someone hurt them,

(we all get hurt)
but instead of them forgiving or forgetting or understanding
that this is just the human dilemma

and accepting that sometimes you just have to lose
at the game of life, lose face or stature
or lose the moment of sweetness they longed for…

They swear to themselves, I WILL NEVER LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN
They put their heart in a safe.
A defense system unparalleled by modern weaponry.

No one ever penetrates their shell, ever again.
They might have a loving spouse who stays at home
Takes care of the kids. But their spouse is just a utensil

someone to use up, like any other type of fuel.
And discard if they get too sick, or are dying,
or in California, too old or fat.

The narcissist will take everything they can
from you
And applaud themselves for how well they did, how lucky they are.

They won’t even give you the credit for a lifetime of loyalty,
Or for your enjoying their successes.
You are just another inferior person to strut in front of.

The narcissist does not believe in love,
In sharing, hates to give gifts, hates when you are happy.
It reminds them they are not the only ones who exist.

The narcissist goes through life looking in their mirror.
They are snow white,
and you are their dwarf.

JGrace

Narcissists – Identify them… then Flourish Without Them.

December 3, 2008

Say you are flourishing, starting to see the fruits of your committments…
and of course you run to someone close to you, to celebrate,
but they are too busy, or want to tell you how they did something special…
Their lack of enthusiasm for your successes or even improvements
is a tip-off. They might be too narcissistic to care about you,
they may have narcissistic traits or even full blown NPD.

It might come as a shock, or maybe then you recall
many times before they just weren’t interested…
Here are some questions to ask yourself…

Do they put on a conspicuous display of kindness and goodness?
Do they never do anything for others unless someone is around to admire them?
Are they a control freak, who trample others privacy or boundaries?

Do they secretly or obviously feel superior to other people?
Do they help others, but feel pity towards those they help?
Do they rarely praise anyone else, and have a hard time giving credit to others?

Are they bored when other people talk about themselves?
Do they rarely or never say they are sorry.
Behind other people’s backs do they disparage, gossip or belittle others?

Are they disliked by people close to them for mysterious reasons?
Do they rarely laugh at themselves, but laugh at others?
Are they sure their way is always the best way?

If someone else is in physical or emotional pain
do they seem bored or like they just want to get on
with their own pursuits? No ability to empathize?

ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTORS IN FLOURISHING
is to IDENTIFY THE NARCISSISTS.
Because they will secretly or openly, knock you down
a few notches. Consistently diminish your energy and enthusiasm,
and try to disable your future successes.

Beware. They are all around. Some say that 30-50%
of all Americans are quite Narcissistic.
I think there are many more of them, than is generally recognized.

Welcome Friends, Poetry readers, Visionaries, and other Earth Inhabitants

August 1, 2008

FLOURISHING IN CRISIS

Now is the moment to start.
Imagine a pathway through the thick underbrush
of world events and manipulations

Where we, the loving inhabitants
the good, the decent, those with conscience
vision, hope and longing

Can come together
in a dialogue of honest evaluation
fearless in facing what is happening.

Once we understand what is taking place on earth,
and lose the last of our illusions
real adult dream-building can begin.

Let us hold hands to have the strength
to get past our denial, fears, anger, blame,
grieving

to imagine that we can Flourish
in a world that is seemingly
falling apart.

Now in a world full of less,
perhaps we can experience more of the best in us,
the fulfillment of what we were each created for.

Here your DREAMS are welcomed,
Your IDEAS are allowed to develop.
OUR friendship and harmony will sustain us.

I am with you in this process.

Love,
JGrace